My Life as a Nurse

"And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." Psalm 9:10

My very first patient this semester is a 7 month old boy who has three diagnoses: Hydrocephalus, BPN (Bronchopneumonia), and GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). He's on mechanical ventilator, feeds through NGT, and almost unconscious. Though it doesn't show, I know he's in pain. Just the mere sight of him breaks my heart.

Yesterday at around 5pm, his IV line stopped infusing. The nurse on duty asked me to remove it and they referred for reinsertion. The residents came in to do the reinsertion at around 8:30pm. It was hard to find a good vein so the resident suggested a cut-down procedure (where they will make an incision to find the large vein), so the family won't have to keep on buying needles. But the family refused so they had to sign a consent form. As a student nurse, I had better understanding of the risks. And I knew, it was better if they took the resident's advise.

**Okay so I found this draft blog and from this line onward, I'm writing from 19 months later (02 January 2012).

I can't recall much of what happened during that rotation. But if I'm right, I was talking about a patient I had in PCMC (Philippine Children's Medical Center). That child died the next day. When we came in the afternoon, he was no longer in his bed and we were told he expired just that morning.

I'm not sure what to make of this experience. But I guess, God wants to tell me that if it's time for someone to go, he will go. Sometimes, we in the medical field, keep on carrying much of the burden on our backs to try to save someone's life. And we sometimes blame ourselves for not succeeding. We forget, that it's still God who holds each person's fate. What matters most is that during my short times with that boy, I gave the best care I could.

This is the nursing profession. You will not always be successful at every intervention and save every patient you have. It's about TRYING with your best, GIVING of yourself, PRAYING hard, and DOING your all for every patient God gives you, then leaving the rest up to Him who knows what's best for everyone. To have been given the privilege to serve in this profession, is something I will eternally be grateful for.