Friday, May 31, 2013

Running in Circles

Do you know that feeling when one song just kind of hits home? When every line speaks what your heart's been crying out but couldn't voice out in words?

There's just been a lot going on in my life for the past weeks. My heart has been going through crazy storms. In two to three weeks, I'll be taking the licensure exam for nurses. I've been preparing for it for the last 7 months but I still feel like I don't know enough. I'd be honest, I am scared. What if I fail again? I'm not sure if I can take another 2 months of social isolation and mental exhaustion. There's also the family issues that's always a heavy cross to carry. As one conflict is resolved, another one comes up. There's no end to it. But above all these, my greatest struggle is within the heart. As I go through the trials and afflictions, my eyes are opened to the real condition of my heart -- my character, my faith, my values. I'm humbled to realize that after the 9 years of walking with the Lord, I still have a looooooong way to go.

Things are crazy. My heart is on a roller coaster ride. Sometimes, I myself don't understand how I actually feel. But after all, when did we ever have to depend on the emotion? The heart is deceitful above all. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Why do I always forget that it's only Jesus who can calm the storm and give me peace? Why do I always forget to look on His face?



Running in Circles – United Pursuit Band 

I'm so forgetful, but You always remind me 
You're the only one who brings me peace 
You're the only one who brings me peace 

So I come, Lord I come 
I come, Lord I come

To tell you I love You 
To tell you I need You 
To tell You there's no better place for me than in Your arms 
To tell You I'm sorry 
For running in circles 
For placing my focus on the waves, not on Your face 
You're the only one who brings me peace 
You're the only one who brings me peace 

In the storm 
In the storm

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