I know I'm not the only person to experience it. I know that. But can I just say, that that truth doesn't make it hurt any less? It hurts a lot! It cuts to the core! And I don't know what to do, or how to respond.
If it was just me, I wouldn't mind bearing the cross! But why does it feel like I'm inevitably passing the burden on other people? This is my cross. It should only hurt for me. But why should they be included in this? Why should they suffer for my decisions? Should my seemingly selfish pursuit of my own righteousness lead them to their deathbeds? They ask me these questions and I honestly don't know how to answer them.
I'm not mad at You. I'm not complaining. I'm not doubting You. I'm just confused. I don't know what to do. I need answers, Lord. Help me. T.T
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