There is something I have yet to master. Or I'm not sure if I ever will. Discerning between what can be known, what can't be known, and the most crucial -- what must be known. My head keeps spinning. I want it to stop so I can have my peace. But I'm not sure if it should stop. So either I think of how to stop it, or if I need to stop it. Then my head just keeps on spinning. It's an endless downward spiral. Well, at least, that's how I imagine it to be like -- it's the alternative ending if I don't explode into a myriad mess of incongruencies, which is what happens most of the time.
I used to wonder why I frequently have messed up thoughts. It's because I so easily give up when the going gets tough. I collect pieces of a puzzle and expect them to make sense right away. Then I give in to my frustrations.
Trailblazers, they're the exact opposite of my kind. They make good sense of things that other people have given up on. They break through the unknowns, and leave traces -- evidences of the bravery of their souls.
But I have not lost hope. I still keep trying. I dream of becoming a pioneer. In what way? Only God knows. I thank God there is still hope for seemingly senseless people like me. =p
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